June 13, 2012

pawnd scum and tubs o' fun

It's a summer day like this that makes me want to forgo any dreams of big-city livin and hang out with my dog forever and ever. After years of hanging with these fellas summer after summer having bullshit idea after bullshit idea, the idea of summer shenanigans without them hardly seems real. The traditions never get old and I never find myself saying, "fuck the pawnd, this is boring." or "no, i don't want to go to sonic and watch you order seven different times and then go to nickel night." Others may object, but I will never be too old for a tire swing or a night of catching lightning bugs. Sure, these events usually include a case of Yuengling nowadays, but as my camera card racks up pictures and my stomach bloats from carbonation, the idea of making memories like these makes me smile like a fucking idiot and makes my stomach hurt worse than when Sam got a stick and poke from Jesse. (Still on my bucket list.) The creation of a memorable moment seems so simple, I often don't even realize it's significance. At times when I remember it, it can cause such unfathomable pain and yearning to go back. I even find myself getting scared of having too much fun, wonder if that's it for me? 'Sorry! That's the best thing that will ever happen to you in your life. Nothing will ever be as good as that and you didn't even know it.' Bullshit, I know this isn't true (except for maybe sex), but that doesn't mean I don't think about it. THEN sometimes I remember the past as better than it actually was– I make myself sad by remembering feelings of super-fun that I never even felt at the time of the event. It's with this that I've come to realize that when I think about my past, and know I not tricking myself into imagining a pseudofantastic world of friendship and fun, I know I've had some fucking amazing times and I need to stop being so sad about them ending. Nostalgic memories are the best and worst parts of life, and I need to start concentrating on the whole "best part" aspect. People come, people go, people come back again, and sometimes it's the last time you'll high five them and say see you soon. So smile about it, dammit.









2 comments:

  1. i really loved the last part of your blog.

    sometimes i think it sad that people i had such a good time with come and go and then realise its a part of growing up.

    and your right! just smile and the people that were ment to stay in your life will stay <3

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  2. Nice pics, looks like lots of fun! Thanks for stopping by :)

    xo Marie
    http://nyorkeratheart.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete

happy to hear from ya!